Statement of intent first draft feedback & LR

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Statement of intent first draft feedback

Mark: 6 

Grade: C

Comments for AQA:

  • This is a clear statement of intent that offers a strong concept that matches the music video / music magazine brief. It largely targets the specified audience appropriately and offers some really interesting ideas around representation and identity.
  • Media language elements are considered although perhaps lacking specific details in places. Certain techniques or shots are mentioned without explaining the ‘how’ or ‘why’ needed in top-level statements. 
  • Representation is very strong aside from a slight misunderstanding around dominant/challenging stereotypes. Application of theory and discussion of stereotypes and identity is impressive and uses the theoretical framework to a high level.
  • Audience is addressed impressively with audience pleasures a particular strength although perhaps needs to show more focus on the brief for the top levels.
  • Digital convergence is a real strength although industry contexts slightly lacking.
  • Print element of brief is addressed in places but lacking specific details for the top level.

Feedback:

  • There are some excellent elements here - not far from the top levels. You just to look over a few aspects to open up a 7-10 mark.
  • Look over the introduction – would a few bullet points at the top help to introduce your artist earlier? It feels for a few lines like you are doing a different brief.
  • In general, you could consider layout – would it be worth considering subheadings or using bullet points more?
  • For Media language, the key element of statements of intent is ‘how’ or ‘why’. What are you trying to communicate to the audience? What connotations will you create? You mention a few shots or techniques in places but don’t give specifics or explain the connotations which is holding you back.
  • Representation is strong aside from a slightly confusing opening.
  • Audience has some strong elements but I would recommend going back to the brief and just making sure you are 100% focused on that.
  • Print brief is mentioned but needs more specific details. I would go back to this in January to add the specific details when you have done the print research and planning tasks.
  • Digital convergence is excellent but lacking a bit of industries context – one to add for the final draft if you can.

Next steps:

  • Copy and paste this feedback to your Media 2 coursework blog with the title ‘Statement of Intent feedback and learner response’.
  • As your learner response, pick out the three improvements/changes you need to make to your Statement of Intent before producing a final draft.
  • Re-draft your statement of intent using Microsoft Word / Google Docs – you may wish to do this after Christmas when we have completed research and planning for the print element of the brief.

Three improvements/changes:

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